When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
