Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
