i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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