I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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