I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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