Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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