i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
