My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
