Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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