i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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