if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
