Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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