butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
