In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
