i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
