Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
