So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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