i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
