so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Randomize
