got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
