No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
