But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We're too hungover to prance.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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