Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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