marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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