Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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