You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
