chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This is classic penis vs brain.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
