I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
