Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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