I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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