"it" just moved
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
