my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
