You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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