I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
