Swine flu. Run for my life!
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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