i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
