I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Is it penis luge time yet?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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