Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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