so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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