i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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