Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
