his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
