Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
