The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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