matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
