tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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