I'm eating all of the evidence.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
