I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
