Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
