so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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