He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
