You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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